I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
