I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think a kid would responsible me up
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
