I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Farmville is her only friend.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
