hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
