puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
