so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize