Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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