Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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