babies were throwing up all over the place
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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