Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
