yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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