There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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