It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
