FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
