I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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