is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
be right there i have to get my cape
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
