so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
