i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize