I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
