I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize