then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
