If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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