I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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