it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
