sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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