After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
