Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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