I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
