After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
