i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
