Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
