no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
