There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
