The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
