I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You left your phone here
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