nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
