'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
