Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
