Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
