mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
my liver is dry heaving
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
