I hope mine doesn't look like that
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
