...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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