I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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