Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i think im in europe. pls send help
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
