This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
