you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You made out with two different species that night
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
