This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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