We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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