Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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