oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
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I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
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our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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