Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
This house was built for laser tag.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
