Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
