she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
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i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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