i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Two words: nipple clamps
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