Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
