none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize