Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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