If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
