Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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