Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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